Listen Will...

I'm feeling a lot of friggen repetition as we finish up Caesar.  I've heard a lot of this shit before.  I'm sorry Willy Shakes, but you're both long winded aaaaaand redundant.  

The men in all of your plays are honorable whiners.  You love ghosts, murder, and the word love.  

Suicide is your thing.  That is crystal clear my friend.

I feel like Acts 4 and 5 in Caesar weren't your favorite things you've ever written though.  Trust me, they aren't mine either.  Your battle scenes in this piece suuuuuck.  This is like an epic piece of classical literature, but the details suck.  The musings of men in tents aren't the juicy stuff here man.  Real valor is on the battle field.  Also suicide before ever entering enemy engagement is rather cowardly.

I also feel like you want us to believe all men are assholes.  Brutus killed on a suspicion backed by mutinous whispers that surrounded him.  The other conspirators had minimal pictures painted of what sort of men they really were, except that they were seditious followers... Except Cassius, that dude was a complete douche...and a dangerous one.  Antony was on a war path.  He saw that Brutus' cause was noble, buuuut his main man Caesar was dead and someone had to pay.  Honestly, pretty much everyone except Antony died... really Will?  

As to whether Caesar needed to be killed; I really don't think so.  He was no Hitler.   Actually he seems a bit like a Communist or a Socialist and Quite a few nations seem perfectly content with those ideals.  (Not here in the US though, please no...politics, I digress).

This play leaves me wishing Caesar were still alive because I'm not so sure there was a Roman that could control that shit show quite like he.  The Roman empire doesn't really have anyone around today for me to ask about it, sooooooo...

Actually now that I'm done ranting and I'm over my disdain for your bloated prose; it's not your fault.  You were about 2/3 of the way historically accurate, but why?  You were writing a great piece to influence the people of your times... surely you could improve upon the plight of these men? Surely someone could actually fight his own foes? Surely... oh forget it! 

Caesar seriously needs to clean out his friends list...

As I read the assignment, in the back of my mind I just kept thinking, "Why does Caesar's life require so many dang names?"  It was ridiculously hard to follow Ceasar's life because Plutarch was forever dropping names.  Seriously, clean up that Friends List dude, it's not how many people you know that defines you... Duh, everyone knows that!








I also took away that Caesar had a sense of humor.  He kind of reminded me of Flynn Rider from Disney's Tangled.  He was a bad guy, but not a baaaaaad guy.  His wanted poster was the bane of his existence because it asked for a paltry sum as well as distorted his face.  In the same way, Ceasar took that pirate ransom and was all, "Do you know who I am!"  Takes a pretty cocky SOB to double his own ransom.

And hey Plutarch, thanks for the Pirates, I friggen love pirates.  Arrrrrrrrr!

I was impressed by his tactical prowess when moving his army about and collecting men and loyalties like it was NBD... Generally he's a pretty legit General.  It would appear he lead not by the power granted in position, but rather the power compelled and enforced by respect.

But that Claudius disaster...what in the heck was that all about? Not gonna lie, I'd have ended that beardless bastard's life for that nonsense.

The Daughter of Time...Tonypany and Poppycock; Silly Stories Heraldedas Truth

"This day was our good King Richard

 piteously slain and murdered; 

to the great heaviness of this city."

...hardly the obituary of a murderer.  Something smells rotten and we ain't in Denmark.

First and foremost, let me just say as I learned the names of the characters in this book, my brain assigned Alan Grant with the image of which I already know him... there is only one Alan Grant and he is a dinosaur hunter.

Apparently my dear Dr. Grant is also a damned good detective and now has a British accent and a little lamb American sidekick.  And a sassy lady-friend...yes, every time Marta entered I immediately saw Emma Stone... with a British accent of course.

Back to the little lamb.  Brent Carradine is a rather handsome nerdy fella in my mind.  He's definitely an Ethan Hawke.  Here ya go.

So now you're partially caught up with the three constantly conversation characters in my mind.

Next, I believe that all history is Tonypandy.  Silly stories comprised of minimal reality and maximum fiction riddle the history books apparently not just in the United States, but apparently across the globe.  History is written by the writer.  That sounds so stupid but it's true.  He (or she) with the pen holds the power.  The reader blindly digests the words as truth and they are forever sealed in our minds as fact.

Having been raised in New Jersey, I learned of my own experience with Tonypandy over and over again.  My case in point is the Civil War.  Damn the evil South for their unwillingness to free the tortured slaves (yeah, the North had those too).  Oh, then let us look to the noble Northerners and their quest to free the slaves (well...actually they didn't really want to rock the boat and killed quite a few abolitionists).  Um...ok The South Was Right (great book, but not all true.)  The problem with history is that there is a right side, a wrong side, and the truth.  No one will ever know the absolute truths in life.  Everyone digests history with a bias and takes a side...even the infallible Alan Grant.

Personally, after reading this book (which may be pure Tonypandy, Hanky Panky, Gibberish etc) I quite like Richard III.  Despite personal pain he tried his best to unify his family.  He forgave for the greater good.  He didn't kill those boys.  However, everyone he should have killed and didn't came back and stabbed him in the ass (oh yeah, that was kind of literal huh?).  Sounds like had a family full of jerks much like the rest of us.  Powermongering, wealth-hunting, murderous (ok I don't have any murderers in my family... but I wouldn't put it past a few of them) jerks.

The people seemed to love Richard the III.  Most of the nonsense about him looks to have been created after Henry killed everyone that could speak for his character.  I like Richard, the hell with Henry.